Sunday, February 11, 2007

No pictures of snow/14 places to lay my hat and still no home

I've fallen out of the habit of using my camera. On the way to work this week, if I had the camera in my hand, I would have taken pictures of snow covered mattresses and discarded red plastic fencing, and the road-edges of snow turned black by London.
I'm really looking forward to settling in to the New Place. It will be the fourteenth place I've been in, fifteen if you count the flat that Mum and Dad lived in before buying the current family home.

1. Mum and Dad's for 19 years, went to school, grew up slightly, but not a lot.

2. Renting with Michael in Boston Manor for 1 year. Found out how to shop and also how to rid a flat of fleas in the carpet, and how to escape the Landlords bailiffs and that when in court, always take legal advice first.

3. With Michaels parents in 5 storey mansion in Ealing for 6 months. I once set off the alarm by accident the police were called and before I could even get dressed and I was locked in the house behind huge black iron gates talking to the police in only my dressing gown. Found out that even professors have to have heart-lung transplants.

4. Saxon Drive with beige carpets with Michael, who was just like the guy from "Sleeping with the Enemy" for 10 months. Found out that love doesn't mean forever, and oranges are not the only fruit.

5. Highfield Road 3 roads away from Saxon Drive in my first shared house, with vegan computer geek Lee and surveyor Nick and a florist whose name I've forgotten, for a year. Used to be able to get in with a credit card if I'd forgotten my keys. Found out that it is possible to be in love with several people at the same time, but not to correctly fill in my tax return on my own.

6. On my own in Alperton for 3 years, in a conversion flat above a couple who used to beat their 4 year old kid and social services would never come, when they went, then above an alcoholic dustman and a beachball shaped lady called Donna. He used to drive the dustcart pissed. But they were very nice to me. Found out that one should never ever have a house warming party and invite more than one person one fancies.

7. With bony nutritionist called Audrey who boiled split peas at 7am and only ate raw vegetables in Perivale for a year. Found out that meat is not murder.

8. In Stratford: back at college in the box room (£30 a week; bargain? hmmm) in a tumbledown house with Jon, Dee and Ben, a cellarful of cheap red wine and a generation of mice for 2 years. Found out that I can kill small furry cute animals.

9.Living rent free briefly with friend J Lord in his shrine to American entertainment, in Langley for 8 months. Found out that there is more to life than computer games consoles, but not for many.

10. In West Acton in lilac room in a flat with tiny ginger girl with heaps of severe food and skin problems and her boyfriend Darko who was a drug dealer who used to use the phone in the same way that Dom Joly does, for 4-5 months. Found out that all the dietary help in the world cannot cure severe eczema in those affected.

11. In enormous hessian carpeted room in Stoke Newington with live-in lesbian landlady for almost 3 years. Found out that fetish clubs are not an ideal place to meet trustworthy people, but pubs in Stoke Newington are.

12. Back to parents to recover from severe debt and depression (Thanks Mum and Dad, I'd be in the gutter if it wasn't for you, well, still in the gutter) Found out that its possible to not have a job and to be ill for a very long time, and that its not just me that it affects either.

13. With Drak in North Acton above crazy letter-writing-banging-on-ceiling neighbours for 8 weeks, found out that one should not run to the police in the rain... and NOW

14. Greenford. The last one for now, the last one until the next time, it's for a year, I don't know what the neighbours are like, theres a balcony (is that bad?) and a garden (mowing the grass? how do you do that?) and I'll have my own titchy room to make stuff in, etc

15. I have no idea whats next and I suppose I never will have any idea.