Sunday, October 19, 2008
Last nights party, despite its various "moments" has left me surprisingly cheerful due to the fact that I went to bed at 10ish, not 4ish. I went to bed to look after Mr E, who was feeling somewhat invaded by dozens of people in the house and all of them needing the toilet at the same time and talking about it loudly. Who can blame him, I felt a little disturbed by the massive invasion myself. But parties end, and the exodus has now occured and we are all back to normal. Luckily, there is some Lime Meringue Pie left. Mr E's baking skills when it comes to pie are second to none. YUM.
I also made my now notorious chocolate cake recipe, of which there is none left I can proudly say. It is so indulgent that it was once christened "filth cake" by Mr Sir D a long while ago. For all those who ask, here is the recipe:
“Dark Chocolate Mousse Cake with gold dust*.”
(From “Unwrapped” the Green and Blacks choc cookbook. With edits!)
Use a 20cm or 23cm, that is, 8 or 9 inch cake tin with removable base.
300g dark cooking chocolate. That’s two massive 150g bars of Green n Blacks cooking chocolate or 3 bars of Green n Blacks usual chocolate, Lindt 70 percent also works, as will any quality dark chocolate. Any sweeter than these ones though, and you will need to adjust sugar quantity.
275g caster sugar
165g butter. (I use Stork)
5 large eggs
preheat the oven to 180C 350F Gas mk 4. Grease tin very well.
Melt chocolate, sugar and butter in a heatproof bowl over a saucepan of simmering water then remove from heat.
Whisk the eggs together and stir into the chocolate mixture. The mixture will thicken and go all glossy in a couple of minutes and it will be pouring consistency.
Pour into the cake tin and bake for 35 to 40 minutes.
Remove the sides of the tin after it’s a bit cooler (entertaining) and leave the cake on its base to cool, then wait impatiently to eat it while picking the cooked bits off the edge.
It won’t rise much by the way….. but who cares ;)
*Yeah, you can dust it with gold dust. I just tend to eat it.
Monday, October 13, 2008
I tag you all to take up my challenge: Wild Book Week. Its like Nanowrimo, where you write a book in a month, but more solid and more visual. Its like Nanowrimo crossed with SARK crossed with Graham Rawle sprinkled with Dave McKean and edited by Steven Moffat, if you like that type of description.
Here it is: buy a blank paged book (or lined pages, hey whats the diff) and fill it up over a week. Any size, any shape. Fill it with anything. Fill it with your life, in colour, in doodles, in fuzzy pictures, in writing, in coffee cup stains. In my case; glitter, buttons ribbons and nail varnish. Set yourself a deadline. Tear stuff out and paste it in. Ramble. Write honest rubbish. Fill it with goth poetry and lolly sticks. Sew, stick, staple and tape. Make it crunchy, make it hard to shut. My deadline is next Monday because I started mine today. My book is A4 and it came from Paperchase. Each page is a different colour. Its yummy. Yours can be large or small, fat or thin, from WHsmith or from Horrid's. Just get one. To coin an over-used phrase, just do it.
Why? This came about because I'm plain useless at keeping a sketchbook: only real artists do that: I tend to collect magazine cuttings and newspaper cartoons and odd photos taken with my mobile phone. I read SARK and oneredpaperclip and all kinds of "inspirational" fluff then lie in bed watching crap telly all weekend. I like crap telly, don't get me wrong. But it is turning my brain to mush, like the corners of toast that started off as frozen bread. Unexpectedly soggy. I'd be honoured to see the results if you join me. Each book will be a peculiar snapshot of life and all the books together will make an odd library of life.
I promise to add a picture soon: I've done two pages already ;)
Sunday, October 12, 2008
The exhibition will be made up of jewel-like one off paintings, bright, swirly, patterned decorative pieces covered in diamante. Jewellery for walls, if you will. All the pieces will be £99, thus the title. And a little recession joke! They will take me an appreciable amount of time to make, cost me in paint and sparklies and I don't want them to be over priced. Nor do I want them to be mistaken for art.
Off to paint now :)
Sunday, October 05, 2008
so there I was, last Wednesday, surprisingly awake for 6.30am. Little did I know what was in store. Initially all I planned was to call the bank and then to pop into my local post office to collect the exciting new dingle dangle that will enable me and my eee-pc surf anywhere for very small money each month. Special offer is through quidco on moneysavingexpert, if you are interested. So I called the bank. Hold on they said, call demand is high. So hold I did. Hi, I said, I was calling to sort out a loan repyment date, which needs changing. I've been tryng to sort this out for the best part of this year and every time I call you say "oh yes we'll do that can't think why we didn't before" and then nothing happens, resulting in charges of £70+ being aplied to the account every single month.
This is not my account, so I have to keep handing the phone to the account owner for ID. This is Nat Pest by the way, readers, NEVER EVER bank with them. They will sooner tear out your soul than make any basic change to your account.
Oh dear, she says, and I got put on hold for some minutes until she comes back to me to state that their "systems are down". I thought privately that in many ways, their systems are ALWAYS down, what with never being able to sort even the simplest thing out and I asked that she put my concerns in "the notes". Notes are a mystical thing which theoretically mean other call centre operators can read what I've been on about when their systems are "up". In practice, this does not work. Not even a little bit.
She said Well, I'll put that you called and you are not happy. I said ok and please put what its about and that I have a complaint going through and its with the ombudsman and I've asked for all 6 years of statements to claim back charges and nothing has happened. She said Well I'll put that you called and you are not happy. I said,, very slowly, NO.... PUT EVERYTHING DOWN..... I AM THE CUSTOMER! Disgruntled, she said she would though I'm not really sure she grasped basic communication protocols such as typing so I arranged another call and hung up, resigned,once more, to having to sort it out another day.
Bowed but not defeated, I toddled to the Post Office for the exciting parcel. I hand over "sorry you were out" card covered in hieroglyphs and my passport. A letter covered in labels appears. ARE YOU EASTMOND shouts the man from behind glass. Well, no I say- and where is my parcel? Dongle surely, was never so thin as this letter. YOU ARE NOT EASTMOND. DO YOU HAVE ID OF EASTMOND. more shouting. No, I say, look, obviously the post man filled out one card for two items. YOU NEED EASTMOND ID is the simple but effective response. I said I'm going to ask you a very simple question. I happen to know that this parcel I'm awaiting is mine and addressed to me because 3mobile sent me the tracking number. Is the tracking number in my hand, on this card, the same as the one on the letter WHAT. WHAT NUMBER This number here. The one on the sorry we couldn't be arsed to knock on the door card. Careful checking of the number. NO. NO THEY ARE NOT THE SAME. YOU WILL NEED TO COME BACK WITH ID OF EASTMOND. Yes, I say. But where is my parcel. RING NUMBER ON CARD. Oh, I will. So I called the number on the card. Hold on, it said. We have high call demand at the moment.
Saturday, September 27, 2008
I think I might be happy.
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Thursday, May 22, 2008
I can't see a happy ending to this at the moment, not at all.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
The young lady with whom I had thought I was going to live has been forced to leave by the man whom I thought was moving out- and as soon as she left all hell broke loose. I provided a large squishy sofa and he demanded that I move it out immediately becasue he didn't like the pattern despite sanctioning its arrival and when I revealed I've nowhere else to put it (other than freecycle it, which I don't want to do) he flew into a temper and insisted that one of us leave.
I'm extremely grateful for such lovely friends. A handwritten note was produced 4 days ago, asking me to quit the property 7 days after the sofa argument and a similar argument in which he stated and remained completely convinced that the window which I had left open an inch with keys (not door keys) dangling from the handle was the sole cause of a person arriving late at might to enquire after a woman who used to live in the house. He thought the person was a burglar but somehow neglected to call the police.
Its revealed that the other housemate he forced to leave was his wife. Its revealed by her that he behaved in an ungentlemanly way towards her in the past. I can't put more in my blog because its public. Solicitors letters have been provided by kind solicitor friend from a very good property law firm and a queue of people who want to help me is forming rapidly.
The upshot of all this is that I'm being illegally evicted and will lose my home, however. But I hope the gentleman involved will learn that he cannot be a selfish bully, or act unlawfully, without consequences. on top of all this, the bank have messed up my rent payment which makes me look like some kind of freeloading lowlife which I'm not. Stress all round!
I need to remember to breathe. next time I blog, like this lovely lady, I'll be giving something good away to one of my readers... I know you're out there....
Friday, May 09, 2008
Thursday, May 08, 2008
I opened the book and saw a ten year old photograph of someone, who in utter coincidence at the moment of that photo, was wearing a ring of mine. I finally realised then, that I have closed the cover/door/cut of a long saga thats been going on in my life for ages. I felt a bit like Martha when she gets over the Doctor finally, if you know what I mean. This particular person would breeze in and out of my consciousness (but not in a Tardis) every so often ever since I met them in a disastrous thunderclap of doomed weekend romance some ten years ago. And I am over it. That was then and this is now.
The other tiny thing that has happened is that I've just arrived home to find the sofa has shrunk and everything has been moved about as one of my housemates moved out over the weekend. I've been at Sam's so have not been party to the choosing of the new sofa which is less like a sofa and more like a largish chair. Its leather and its square, and its too small to lie down on, three things which a sofa should NEVER be. It is, in fact, tiny. I'm plotting a freecycle-related miracle: unexpectedly a large soft and battered sofa will shortly appear next to it, unless I'm very much mistaken.
I can now take tiny steps with my cast on. And it only hurts a tiny bit, too!
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Tonight I have mostly been decorating things to take with me to Jack in the Green, a festival-like tradition in Hastings which happens every year on this coming Bank Holiday. Much morris is danced, a lot of green body paint gets used up and all involved generally have a raucous time of it to welcome in the spring. This year I have not only decorated a 0.6L plastic tankard (for pineapple and sodas, honest) but also my leg and a dozen plastic tiaras for my morris team. They don't want to wear them, but I don't care. I wanted to get them, so YAH BOO SUCKS. Someone will like them. They are all different colours now. Its the 25th (silver) anniversary and I never ever miss an opportunity to dress up, however small :)
For anyone wondering who will be wearing the pink overdone tiara, its me, and the one with the FIMO green man on it is for Marti- the real Queen of the May, as seen here in the gay bogies on acid website. (Bogies are Jack's* cohorts), every inch of them is green. No kidding.
I shall mainly be taking photographs and trying not to be miserable.
*Jack is a dancing tower of leaves who gets slain at the top of the hill to release the spirit of summer.
Monday, April 28, 2008
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
This young lady says it better then me in lots of ways.
I do miss things like heels and being able to pop to the kitchen, and above all I've realised today that I'm quite frightened of never being quite right again. I'm frightened I've ruined my little foot that turned out to be so fragile forever. And the other one- its all a bit swollen up and looks a touch overworked. Will I always walk with a limp? And is that my fault? Is the whole thing? how accidental are accidents?
Friday, April 18, 2008
Hey pop dudes!!! look at THIS!!!!
Its a POP CAM
4 tiny coloured lenses take pictures and they come out in all different colours!! And all at slightly different times! no batteries, just pure weird motion-capture.
It takes ordinary film and it puts a smile on the face of all developing places. Now I'm hell bent on collecting sweetie wrappers to create a coloured flash for my SLR :)
And all for £8 delivered!!!!
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
I think I can confidently say that when I began to harm myself, I never thought I'd be in an educational DVD on the subject, imparting my insights and my odd thoughts, and I also never thought that DVD would be filmed on primrose hill, or that I would get there on crutches.
But there you are- these things happen over an inevitable unfolding of time, a bit like the slow deconstruction of a complex origami model, unfolding part by unexpectedly complex part.
In the increasingly chilly wind, sat on the grass among daisies, I explained how tattoos outline my body and define me and in that way they are more important to me than any "fashion statement". They state my name in pictures, who I am, written on me in indelible ink, they don't make me an individual, but they confirm that I am here, I am solid, the fact that I can permanently mark my physical self confirms that. Self harm is different. Its violent. It gets out what is inside and the marks left state nothing but distress. Its not pretty, its not just a weird habit, its a coping mechanism thats a bit on the extreme side. Tattoos are for decoration. End of.
Monday, April 14, 2008
Alright, enough already. So my high score is now zero. But I went up to eleven! Every time I have a drink I remember that fall---- and I don't want another one. Another drink that is. Or another fall come to that. After the first sweet, cold beer after an 11 day break, the rest (few and farbetween) have been- well, ordinary. I don't drink on weeknights. And I can't get drunk on crutches, anyway. V dangerous. And it disturbs my sleep. I wake up each hour if I have wine, and at 2am if I have beer (like there is a difference. yeah right)
I became a sunny person without it, and I'm not going to give that up. Lets raise a toast (a piece of toast) to being happier without whine (sic)
Wednesday, April 02, 2008
I am seeing humanity in all its facets whilst I'm in plaster, albeit purple plaster. Pictured here balanced attractively on the front of my borrowed mobility trolley (quad bike, actually) in the supermarket. From the taxi driver who cannot be bothered to pull any further towards the cash machine, to the one who hops out to open and shut the door, and even the one who hauls me in and out by the armpits. This morning on the tube I was kindly given a seat by a man with lots of luggage, then, a woman on a mobile phone tripped over my toes, twisting the leg in the cast and causing me to scream and yell "Jesus" involuntarily. It was surprisingly painful. She sat down next to me, mumbled sorry, continued her conversation and a couple of stops later as I popped some more painkillers out of the packet and continued to nurse my leg, she simply moved seats and sat further down the carriage to continue her conversation. I was amazed.
What a cow! Did her parents never teach her it is wrong to kick an injured person and walk away? I thought it was basic.
Tuesday, April 01, 2008
Saturday, March 29, 2008
SO there you go. Until I get camera operational.
Friday, March 28, 2008
I've nothing else to do!!!! I've exhausted the delights of chatting to the plaster technicians in the hospital, (purple leg now) and the other patients, and allowing myself chips and ice cream (not both together) after 2 and a half hours in hospital (should have taken a pic of my xray on the screen using phone- but phone does not connect to computer and blah blah blah) and watching Torchwood and QI, which was in fact QB, and now I'm looking up serving trolleys for work online. I miss work. I like it. I like the people and I even like answering the phone sometimes. And clearing away sandwiches. And all the boring boring things I do but do well. Its so amazing to have a job. I just love it. I may have been in danger of forgetting that. Well I guess I can consider myself reminded.
Yeah, and it would seem I can take pictures with the eee.
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Its not sprained. Its broken. I'm in plaster for the first time in my life. Feeling even more stupid then before and somewhat determined never ever to lose track of how much I'm drinking ever again. How about not drinking at all, is what I'm thinking, and taking it one day at a time seems to be the plan. It only drains my wallet, makes me fat and act stupidly, and now- broken bones? its a no brainer.
Possible plans for those who buy me drinks even when I don't want one include pouring it over their heads. I got this idea from someone who gave up smoking by loading several water pistols and instructing his housemates to shoot him with them, thus soaking the fag and him, if he ever lit up. It was successful! His housemates were wily and used to creep around catching him even when he was far from the house. Perhaps I should hand out some water pistols.
But anyway, how the hell did I manage to walk around on it for 2 days? Cracked fibula, I hear you say, is not weight bearing. Too right its not. Owtch.
Monday, March 24, 2008
I have sprained my ankle. It hurts a lot. Chocolate, ice, painkillers, none of them work really so I'm in a sulk on the sofa playing on the eee. I'm severely unimpressed that I fell over drunk and also particularly embarrassed to admit that it happened while jumping out of the kebab shop. No dancing for me for a while. Something has got to stop here and I don't mean the kebabs. The Quakers had it right. Hot chocolate is much safer.
Saturday, March 22, 2008
I haven't laughed this much in ages!!
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Neverless- Allow me to sum up the past few months, not in rhyme as yet, and probably not in reason either.
Christmas happened, the weather continued to be awful, January involved lots of work and beer and little sleep and no internet access at all except to check email at double quick speed at work, I extremely unexpectedly met the man I want to spend the rest of my life with, which confused the HELL out of me and still does, on Feb 29th I came over all romantic and asked him to marry me. What happened with the rings is another story for another day but lets just say it involved ebay.
So there you are, thats about it apart from the fact that due to the constant data struggle (no computer online etc etc) I bought an linux based ubercool sub notebook called an Asus eee pc in the hope of better comms in general and what is prompting me to post today is......
I cut up all my credit cards, yeah, to get in Control of my money. And to pay back Mr Sir D's utter kindness, and the tax, and all of that griff.
I have realised that although debt is a part of life, uncontrolled and spiralling debt is like a creeping disease. Ok, so you say, so what did you do then?
Well, I've become a huge fan of moneysavingexpert.com and I have changed my bank account to the best new one, easily managed online with no offshore call centres. I have begun to save. I have put everything I spend into a spreadsheet on my darling new computer. I have further resolved to stay in touch with my friends more, etc, having freed up a part of my mind which I now realise was set aside purely for worrying.
Brilliant! I hear you say. But no....no, why oh why would anything AT ALL be simple in the world of computers. The bank's website is not compatible with my beloved FireFox, pre installed on the supercool gadget I'm at present typing on. Aha! I thought to go get IE tab. But no, it is not available for linux. I rest my case ladies and gents, lifes just too complicated for me to be dealing with. I'm going to re-install myself in bed under a simple duvet-fleece interface with a large warmth protocol on the highest setting. No password required- simply get straight in.