Its not sprained. Its broken. I'm in plaster for the first time in my life. Feeling even more stupid then before and somewhat determined never ever to lose track of how much I'm drinking ever again. How about not drinking at all, is what I'm thinking, and taking it one day at a time seems to be the plan. It only drains my wallet, makes me fat and act stupidly, and now- broken bones? its a no brainer.
Possible plans for those who buy me drinks even when I don't want one include pouring it over their heads. I got this idea from someone who gave up smoking by loading several water pistols and instructing his housemates to shoot him with them, thus soaking the fag and him, if he ever lit up. It was successful! His housemates were wily and used to creep around catching him even when he was far from the house. Perhaps I should hand out some water pistols.
But anyway, how the hell did I manage to walk around on it for 2 days? Cracked fibula, I hear you say, is not weight bearing. Too right its not. Owtch.
3 comments:
Yowch!
Part of me thinks you could have broken your leg jumping out of a shop stone-cold sober..
But I know drink is something you've had conflicted feelings about for a while.
Maybe seeing if teetotal works for you might be useful..
Hope you recover quickly. Does non-load-bearing = quick to heal? I hope so..
And further to that, hopefully this will make you smile rather than sigh:
THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Anaesthetist
4. Cinnamon
5. Chrysanthemum
THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Specificity
2. Rhipidistian-Amphibian Transition
3. Anti-constitutionalistically
4. Transubstantiate
5. Sphygmomanometer
THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
01. Thanks, but I don't want to have sex.
02. Nope, no more booze for me.
03. Sorry, but you're not really my type.
04. Kebab? No thanks, I'm not hungry.
05. Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight?
06. Oh, I couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing karaoke.
07. I'm not interested in fighting you.
08. Thank you, but I won't make any attempt to dance, I have no
coordination. I'd hate to look like a fool.
09. Where is the nearest toilet? I refuse to hurl in the street.
10. I must be going home now as I have work in the morning.
How very true. I was singing karaoke before I broke my ankle after buying a kebab, it ought to be added. I think I'm going to make a list of all the wonderful things I will still be able to do and all the dreadful things I will henceforth avoid whilst not boozing. Thanks. That did make me laugh!!
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